A Year Older

It's 12:27 am now and it means one thing: I just turned 28.

Holly shit. You're old!!!!! That's Nana's message to me.

Oh well, happy birthday to me!!! And I'm going to make the most out of my 28-year-old life! 

I've got some plan on the weekend with some friends for a little celebration. Can't wait for that. I really need a getaway from the routine of daily life, not to mention I've worked too much and haven't had proper sleep since last week. 

Well, I'm going to bed. (Finally, I get my bed today after nights staying in uni.)

Until next post.

Purpose of Life and Acceptance

It must be the exhaustion and also lack of sleep that caused me to doze off yesterday (Monday). I had lectures to attend on Monday from 9:30 until 17:30. That morning, I couldn't wake up and so I skipped the first lecture. It was only an hour tutorial class, I'm sure I didn't miss much.

The following lecture was from 10:30 to 13:30. I came in after 11 and left the classroom at 12:30 to have lunch. After lunch, I attended the last lecture at 14:30. I was so sleepy right after the lecture began and my mind just completely shut down. I had no clue whatsoever of the topic being discussed. (This also reminds me that I have to review the topic soon.) By the time the lecturer sent us all home, I could barely open my eyes. So I headed home straight away.

I went to bed after I get home at around 7 o'clock in the evening and passed out until almost midnight. I woke up just to have a shower, made some toast (yes, I have strange habit to eat brekkie meal for dinner), ate it while checking and replying emails from my student account, brushed my teeth and went back to sleep. In total, I dozed off for 11 hours. Just what I needed apparently, although I was supposed to finish my report that night. But I woke up fully energised in the morning. If I didn't have to go to work, I so could have gone back to sleep and snooze until well past mid afternoon.

Now, to get into what is related to the title, early after work we all went to have lunch together. As usual we talked about things. Today's topic was about the purpose of life. Mr. J began by telling us that a friend, who we all know, a guy, is feeling depressed. He told Mr. J that he is feeling lost that he doesn't know what to do in his life anymore. He's stuck. He has nowehere else to go, he lost his passion of everything that he used to be passionate about. Down and down he is going that he eventually talked it out with Mr. J. It is something that he never did before, knowing that he is really closed and always keeps things to himself.

And so we began discussing about "feeling lost" and "having purpose in life". The question raised was: "What am I living for?"

Personally, I understand what our friend is going through right now because I still can remember it clearly that just a few months ago, and even a couple of years further back, I was in the same situation as him. It was a dark hole in my life. Well, long story short, here I am now, pursuing a better life; busy with uni and work that always tire me out, chased by time and can barely think of anything else but study and work my ass off. It is all for one purpose: to settle in here.

However, I am also worried that I will have less thing to do after I graduate. Because then, I will have to face the real world again. You know, finding a real job and building a career and such thing. But it is of course a different story for another discussion.

Being wise as usual, Mr. J shared with us a passage that he found on newspaper horoscope. The passage says:

Time is rather like the ocean. We're rather like little boats cast adrift on those great waves. We have no option other than to go with the flow. No matter how many sails we raise or engines we fire up, we can't go in another direction. Nor can we speed up our progress. What choice do we have? We have one. One very big, important choice. We can choose whether to feel OK about a situation we can't change or whether to resent it. Acceptance is the key to greater buoyancy and smoother sailing.

Underline the word "Acceptance". Having a purpose in life is utterly important. But it is also essential to be able to accept how life turns out to be.

At this moment, in the pursue of my purpose, I can do nothing but keep trying. I can't speed up through the time -- because there is no such thing as time machine -- but to live it day to day until I am there. Admittedly, I haven't come to the phase where acceptance is needed because I'm still on the sail now. I also realise that I haven't tried harder and so I am not in the position to accept anything just yet.

The passage is a reminder for me nonetheless, for many other things in my life. I, too, choose to feel OK about a situation I can't change, rather than resent it. And at the same time, I will keep moving forward. Because in that way I have the meaning of living my life. It somehow gives me a reason to get up every morning.

To accept, I admit, is something that somewhat is not an easy thing to do. But keep learning and trying I will. Because it is far, far better to learn and try and fail, than to live a life regretting things that I didn't do.

Like once I told a friend, "Life wouldn't give you anything good if you don't even try to live." It's about time to reflect on my own saying.

I took the photo with my iPhone a few weeks ago when I was at Parliament Station, on the way to home after work. It somewhat has a deep meaning for me. I posted it on Instagram with a caption saying: "Up I go". That photo genuinely reflects my current life that I even set it as my phone wallpaper.  

Wuzzaahh . . . I feel like I'm 50 years older now.

Anyhow, I've got to go to bed now. Got a group meeting early in the morning and also gotta rush out one report that is due on the 21st. (This all is for the one purpose.)

Until next post.

Coffee Drinker I am

Since I moved here, I've been drinking coffee more often than I used to back in home. Renowned for having the best coffee in Australia, Melbourne has lots of coffee shop. That, and the need to stay awake the whole day is probably the reason I've become a coffee drinker. 

I need at least a cup to get me through every day and 2 or 3 in rough day. The first thing that pops up in my head in the morning is "coffeeeeee". It's like my brain can't function without caffeine. Somehow I suspect that it is my brain is always trying to seduce me into getting caffeine. It's more like me feeding my brain with coffee than my actual need of it.

When I first started drinking coffee, I start with latte. Then I got into cap. Well, with my studyload and workload, normal cap can no longer make me awake. So I start having short black and before long I start having long black. Lately, I prefer strong cap with double shots. It can last a bit longer and I stay with one cup per day. Well, supposedly one cup a day. But in reality, I have to have at least two cups. I also used to have 2 sugar but now I stick with no sugar at all. It tastes even better, apparently.

I have literally been living off coffee. Bad move. One time I had an upset stomach for having too much coffee. But it didn't make me stop either because I feel like I'm snoozing out without having coffee. Now I understand why Mum always has to have coffee every day. It used to be me who telling her to reduce her coffee consumption, or even stop drinking it because she has diabetes. Oh wells . . . .

With the coffee-craving, I finally got to taste the coffee from one of the coffee shops in Victoria Market. It's called Market Lane Coffee. They claim to be a specialist in coffee roastery that sell only "delicious high-quality" coffee. Fancying the "delicious high-quality" coffee, I have always wanted to try it but never had the chance until today.

Mind you, it's a bit expensive for a small cup of coffee. The one I had was $4.50. It's not not as expensive as Brunetti, though. Or is it? Anyway, it is more expensive than the standard coffee price. The taste was so-so. A bit too bitter and there was a faint burnt taste in the coffee. I guess the skill of the barista is clearly the most important thing in making coffee. Because I've tasted a very good coffee from different coffee shops with less pricey. One of my favorites is the coffee from a coffee shop in my uni building. The barista makes a very nice coffee, despite the rush of making it because there is always a line of people.

I am still happy that I tried Market Lane Coffee nevertheless. Also, I like their tagline on the cups. It's somehow catchy. I would probably go back there to give it another try.

Now, now. I need to get back to my report. Awake, awake!

Until next post.

A Good Saturday

In Melbourne, it is sometimes easy to have a good conversation with a stranger. Like today (Saturday morning), I got on the tram and sat next to a woman, who I happened to have a chat with. She was a blonde and around 30's. As I took a seat next to her, she said to me, "Hi, I'm not a creep but I just wanted to let you know that you smell nice." That, totally made my day. Yey! I told her that it's probably my body spray and from there we chatted a bit more. 

She asked what body spray do I use so I told her. It's Body Shop, by the way. From there, we talked about another brands and compare them in price wise. The ones that came up were Jurlique and L'occitane. Then the conversation elaborated into my culture background, what do I do here, what do I study, which uni I go to, and so on. She then also told me a little bit about her: born in Melbourne, works in telecommunication company and likes art. 

We kept chatting until we get to city and have to part ways. I got on the connecting tram that will take me to work and she walked to wherever she needed to be. We didn't exchange names. But it makes the conversation we had somehow special. A conversation between two strangers in a public transport. With a huge grin drawn on my face, I arrived at work. 

I had to work double shifts today because Alice couldn't work. So I covered for her. Then after, I went out with my Thai friends; Nana, Momo and Ploy. We went to a Thai restaurant and bar, and had some drinks and small eats.  

Another thing about living in Melbourne is that most of the time, when I go out with friends, we always go for drinks. It doesn't mean I drink a lot. I've had my fair share of drinking-until-drop experience and I'm over it now. I know I'm lightweight and so I drink responsibly. Not to mention that it is quite expensive to have drinks here. Although, it is still affordable if you do big group and order drinks in jugs. But still, it is an expensive lifestyle to do every week.  

The drinks that we had, it was like a fruit punch -- pineapple and melon -- but there was alcohol in it, which I bet is vodka. We chatted, and by chatted I mean they talked in Thai and I listened to them, while drinking. Even though I don't understand them, it's fine by me because still it is much, much better to end a long day with friends and some drinks and just relax.

Now I'm lying in bed, after hot shower. I'm feeling tired but relaxed. It always feels nice after washing the day off. 

I'm passing out, though. It's 3 a.m. now and I remember I got an assignment report to write later. 

I'm signing out . . . Goodnight, people. 

Until next post.

Out of Shape

Earlier this morning I overslept and was almost late for work. I literally jumped out of bed to quickly get ready. I could only manage to wash my face and brush my teeth. Once I left the house, I checked Tram Tracker on my phone to see how long the tram will be coming to the stop. It said: 3 minutes. Knowing I could miss the tram, I had to run to catch it. It was a short-distance run yet I was running out of breath once I get there. 

Then in the afternoon, after work, I was at uni. I needed to get to the class in level 6. But there were a lot of students waiting for the lifts. I was in level 2. So I thought, 4 levels. I could do with stairs. And guess what? I was out of breath by only one level. But up I went, and when I reached level 6 my legs were shaking. 

This only means one thing: I am so totally out of shape! 

No wonder I've been feeling unfit lately. Often I wake up feeling tired although I sleep for at least 6 hours. And most of the time I feel like I'm 90 years old with back sore.  

It's time to start doing some excercise. 

Before uni started this semester, I used to jogging because I had more free time. The thing is, the weather is getting cooler, making it unappealing to jog around the neighborhood. I don't know about you, but I don't like jogging in cold weather because I get nosebleed easily. Especially during winter. I was thinking about going to gym. But it means I have to sign up for membership and knowing me and my tight schedule, I don't think I would be able to regularly go to gym. Not wanting to waste money, I dropped the option. 

Then, another idea came up: swimming! It's been way too long since I did it. In fact, I haven't done it since I came here. I didn't realise, until now, that I miss swimming. It's like my favorite sport ever. Determined to do it this time, I spent the entire time commuting back to home on the tram searching for public swimming pool. I found zero result in my suburb. Not a problem. There's one in Melbourne Sports and Aquatic Center (MSAC) -- it's where my exams are held, by the way. But it's a bit too far for me. 

My only option left is Melbourne City Baths. It's in the city, next to my uni and easy access. They have indoor swimming pool facility and also permit guest visit and provide student price for only $5.20 per visit, and $10 for swimming and spa and sauna. Cheap! (Also, did I mention about how I love my student card? Yes, I did. For every student discount I can get with it, despite the ugly face of me printed on it.) 

That's it. I plan to start swimming in the very near future. Lucky I brought my swimsuit. For the preparation, I did online shopping for swimming cap (my hair is way too long to not wearing a cap). And since I left my goggle too back at home, I need to buy one. Think I can buy one from a sports store here. I'm a brand fanatic when it comes to swimming attire, especially the goggle, and I have to physically see it before I make a purchase. Not to mention that I have to like the design as well . . . (Weird, I know. But that's me, okay?)

Next is, sports bag. Well, I'm still deciding if I should buy one, or if I really need it. It's kinda pricey, mind you. Need to be wise in spending money for this one. 

Off to bed I am going now, feeling excited with the plan.

Until next post. 

Bulgogi

For only-God-knows reason, I'm being called "Bulgogi" at work. How in the world did they get the idea of naming me Bulgogi, I have no idea whatsoever. They say it rhymes with my name -- real name. Rhymes how, I can only imagine. It all started when Mr. J solely baptised me with "Maria" and then it went to many different names afterward. So every month they are going to find me a name and by the end of the year I will compile all the names together. It's been going on for four months now.

Anyway, it's just a thing we all have for fun. Somehow it bonds us together and I'm fine with it. After a couple of times being called that name, I start answering to the name.

In return, though, I sometimes pull a prank on them. Well, it always ends up with them paying me a revenge. A couple of times they went way too much and felt bad about it. It's alright. As long as I can take it and it's only for fun. No hard feelings. It sets everyone at loose after a busy day. I don't do this kind of thing in other work place.

One thing for sure is, they're going to miss all the fun and jokes and pranks they throw at me when I no longer work there.

That workplace, despite the lack of management skill from its manager (and that is probably the downside of working in there), is a place that full with sense of belonging from its staff. Mr. J himself, as the sole owner, is a good person. He cares for his people and often helps his staff out with their personal matters, when he's able to of course. Some staff have been working for him for many years. The longest one has worked for over 5 years. She quit when she was having a baby and has returned back to work now that her child is a year and half.

I'm not saying that the workplace is the nicest and best workplace ever. There is always a flaw of course. It gave me a lot of stress and pressure last year, even more stressful than my study. But I learned to be professional and not taking personally whatever shit happen at work. What happens at work, stays at work. Once I punch out, my shift is over and I let go off everything that is work related.

I was going to quit but then I thought, that's how any workplace would be. There is always stress and pressure and all the kind of mumbo jumbo a workplace has. There is always paradox, as well as cohesion, between the workers in a workplace that can either bond all the people working in the place together, or shatter them. Well, the ones who stay with Mr. J have bonded a good relationship with each other and that what makes the place still running, after 11 years. So I stay and learn form the weaknesses, and at the same time preparing myself for a bigger and better job.

For myself, it's the place where I met Nana (she came in the same time as me last year) and Tab. Now that we have 8 new staff, we're all getting to know each other. For some reason, I feel like I can be myself working in that place. For instance, I'm out to them. Well, more likely Mr. J accidentally figured out I'm gay and from him almost everyone knows now. And the ones who know, they're all okay with it. Another thing that I like is, no one gives a damn about anyone's religion or personal belief whatsoever. Many of them are non-believers, but like I said, no one cares.

One of the similar things we all have in common is obsessive compulsive. I am obsessive compulsive -- to a certain level (it's something that I would like to talk about sometime), and so are Mr. J and some other staff. We know what things that bother who (that's why they're able to prank me) and we all try to adjust with each other.

All in all, we all get along just fine, despite the cultural differences.

One particular staff that I've been working with since day 1 of this year, and somehow whom I have developed a good friendship with, is Vivi. She used to work for Mr. J before but she quit because she had to work somewhere else that is related to her study field. When she finished the contract and is now applying for PR, she came back to work for Mr. J.

Unfortunately, last Thursday was her last day to work. She failed her IELTS test in order to apply for PR so she has to fly back to her home country. (This also reminds me that I have to take the test sooner than later.) We got together today, along with Nana, and went out for lunch. With the theme of "Bulgogi", we went to the same Korean restaurant that Nana, Alice and I went to have dinner last time; Mook Ji Bar. It was like a farewell lunch before she flies home next week. But she will keep doing the test until she gets the required score for PR, and hopefully I will see her again back in Melbourne.

We ordered squid bulgogi, chicken soup with ginseng and sweet and spicy chicken crispy. Also, we had a little bit of cider to warm us all. We were almost going for soju but decided against it. It wouldn't be such a good idea considering it was only a little after 12 and I had to study after lunch, and Nana was having upset stomach after drinking too much water with basil seed (???).

Photo courtesy: Vivi

As always, the food was delicious. The chicken was crispy and nice and addicting. The soup came with a whole piece of chicken breast, cooked until the meat is super soft that you can easily peel it off with chopstick. And the squid bulgogi, was a yum. I now declare have developed a tremendous fond of Korean food and particularly that restaurant. Next time I will have to try a Korean barbie (I mean, BBQ).

Well, that's all about it. I was actually meant to only write about the lunch but look, it's evolved to a more big and deep meaning post about work. The art of blogging and writing, I would say.

Anyhow, I really wish Vivi all the best and may she pass the test and come back here in no time.

Until next post. 

What's in April

Welcoming April, I just spent 30 minutes looking over the study planner on my wall. I was trying to figure out my plans through the month and made notes, both on the planner and the diary, on things that have to be done.

So, what's exactly in April for me? Here are the things to look for:

1. April Fools, which is today. (No one punked me.)
2. Easter. (A good excuse to eat more chocolate!)
3. My birthday. (Will buy something nice for myself.)
4. 3 assignments to submit. (You can do this, Rae!)
5. Applying for internships. (You definitely, seriously have to actually start doing it, Rae! You will sit your ass down and pamper your CV and apply!)
6. (Possibly?) Meeting with new people, as in girls. (Hmmm . . . )

Well, thus seem like an interesting month I'll be going through, aye? 

With three assignments due in this month, though, I will definitely spend midsemester break to work on them, which starts on 2 until 8. It seems to me that no break until this semester is over. But it's okay. All this hustle and bustle of uni life and work keep me sane. I get stressed out, but I enjoy it all the same. Even though I whine like a bitch sometimes but I don't really mean it. I just like to, well . . . whine. 

I will have a good, nice break some time later. (Great Ocean Road, wait till I come to you!!!) Until then, working my ass off is what necessary. 

Other than all these, well, I wish you a happy Easter. Happy holiday! (So looking forward to have sugar overload!) 

Until next post.