Day 1: She's Here!

The wait has finally over. She's here! After ten years, we finally made it. It was a bit awkward at first, but then the ice was broken within a second. Her plane landed on schedule, I got to the airport just in time as she walked out the arrivals gate. We hugged tightly and for a moment it felt like a dream. We bumped into two European guys who looked completely out of place on our way; one is here to work at the Cirque de Soleil, the other is on working holiday visa. Soon they joined the two of us and I helped them with their travel route.

We took buses and tram to get to my place. She cooked me some eggs for a brief lunch. With her being exhausted after twenty-seven hours of travel -- from Portland to San Fransisco to Shanghai, then Melbourne -- we stayed home after we went out to do some groceries and had an early dinner. Oh, we also had some kangaroo steak. The meat was... chewy. I don't think I fancy the meal, imagining a cute kangaroo... That would be the first and last I ever eat kangaroo meat. I, then, called Mum and introduced her to my entire family, even to my one-year-old nephew. She's passed out now. Soon I'll be gone to sleep as well. Pretty much enthusiastic for tomorrow's NYE. 

 Oh, and she bought me some gifts, too. 

Until next post.

In 2015, I Will...

Credited to a colleague

I still can't sleep. So I'm just going to write some more.

Have you seen The Secret Life of Walter Mitty? You should if you haven't. It's a great and inspiring movie. Watching the movie make me think about what I have and have not done in my life.

"To see the world, things dangerous to come,
to see behind walls, draw closer,
to find each other, and to feel.
That is the purpose of life." - Walter Mitty

The quote still lingers in my head. To be honest, it's the things that I don't dare to do that bothers me. I don't dare to see the world, to face the dangerous things to come in order to do so. I don't dare to find what's behind walls and it pulls me away.

With the year approaching to the end, everyone seems to be listing their resolutions. I've been pondering if I should list a New Year's resolution. I'm not a fan of it, mostly because I'm too lazy to give it a thought. But then, after watching the movie, I realised I've been giving too much of a thought of useless shit that don't do me any good. This time I think I could really use a list of resolution for the year ahead. It could probably get me to sleep, anyway.

So, here is my 2015's resolution:

In 2015, I will GRADUATE.
In 2015, I will BE MORE GRATEFUL.
In 2015, I will GET BETTER.
In 2015, I will WORRY LESS.
In 2015, I will ENJOY MY LIFE THE WAY I WISH.
In 2015, I will FIND A BETTER JOB.
In 2015, I will TREAT MYSELF FOR ALL MY HARDOWRK.
In 2015, I will HAVE A TRIP SOMEWHERE.
In 2015, I will DEFINITELY GO TO STEREOSONIC.
In 2015, I will RAVE.
In 2015, I will READ MORE BOOKS.
In 2015, I will RE-CONNECT WITH PEOPLE.
In 2015, I will SET MYSELF FREE.

That, indeed, will be my reminder for the coming year. I will always come back to this. This should be a good vibe to start a new year. And hopefully this wouldn't be 2016's resolution. Right?

Until next post.

P.s. I'm writing this post while listening to the soundtrack of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Good songs.

Counting the Hours

Christmas has passed. Turned out my second Christmas was just the same as last year; I stayed at home and slept in, cooked some meals, ate, watched some movies, called Mum, and then back to sleep. I was going to open a bottle Smirnoff Ice -- the weather seemed perfect for a beer -- that I've been keeping in the fridge, but I had an upset stomach. So, I decided against it and keep the beer for next time.

Boxing Day was the day after Christmas. It's similar to Black Friday in the US; big shopping day, big discounts (although, I reckon the price wasn't so cheap). Every single shopping center was overcrowded. People were cramped inside the building, elbowing their way to fill in their carts like predators hunting for the same prey. I was one of them, although I was less enthusiastic. I went to a shopping center that was less crowded, walking around mindlessly with no particular need to buy anything. After forty-five minutes I walked out the store with a bag in my hand. I bought me a pair of sandal, 5 pieces of panties (hipster cut), and a pair of bikini. Yes, I bought a bikini and I'll wear it to the beach. As Q said when I told her I got a pair of bikini, "good, so we can go to the beach as soon as I get there."

Or maybe not.

Speaking of Q (I really need to find her a better name, don't I?). She's on the plane from Shanghai as I'm typing this. Her plane is going to touch down by 10 o'clock in the morning. I'm going to pick her up at the airport, and I'm such a nervous wreck right now. It must be from the excitement of meeting her for the first time. But it's a good nervous I'm feeling and a good panick attack I'm having. I spent the day cleaning up my room and the entire apartment. I did my laundry, changed the sheet and everything. Housemate is out on a trip since before Christmas, so we're going to have the place by ourselves for a little while, at least. I've checked online the arrival time and the gate number she'll be coming in from, and I'm going to stand there waiting for her. Also, I've planned my trip to the airport and back with PTV Journey Planner. I got everything scheduled on my phone. It's very OCD of me, I know.

I should have gone to bed by now because I have to wake up early in the morning to get ready. But I'm too excited, like a kid having too much sugar. Guess I'll wait a bit.

Until next post. 

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

It's Christmas Eve.

This is my second Christmas in Melbourne. Soon the year of 2014 will come to an end and we'll welcome the 2015. How fast time flies...

"Christmas is a time when you get homesick — even when you're home." -Carol Nelson

Holidays always make me feel homesick. I picture my little hometown in time like this. The street and houses must be filled with colorful, flashing lights. Christmas songs fill the air, bringing the smell of holiday. People are busy preparing for the festive season; decorating Christmas trees, cooking lots of food, making pastries, buying new clothes, pimp up their looks.

I remember, years ago, I would come home on school break, celebrating the Christmas and New Year with my family. Weeks before the holiday, my uncle, being a great cook he is, would be busy decorating the Christmas tree at our house, making pastries (some were for us, the others were for people's orders), and I would help him in the kitchen. On the 25th we would have an open house for most friends and relatives to come visit and have a meal. Mum would be busy attending the guests, while me and my brothers, well, we would be certainly busy eating all the food and drinking the soft drinks. When Grandma was still alive, she would slip a red envelope in my and my brothers' hands with some money in it. Angpao. Although, I knew she barely had money left and no matter how many times I refused to take it, she would always insist. You can save it for something useful, she would say.

Admittedly, I miss all those things. I miss it so badly that it hurts.

Christmas is slightly dull here. Maybe it's because I'm celebrating the holiday by myself. I mean, I have my friends and all here but it still feels different. The spirit is different, I just can tell. I don't have any plan for Christmas. I'd probably end up staying at home, cleaning my room and preparing for Q's arrival. Or maybe, I'd go to the city and visit Tab at work and have an impromptu Christmas celebration at her workplace. We'll see.

In spite of my dull Christmas, I'd like to wish you a very Merry Christmas.

"May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope;
The spirit of Christmas which is peace;
The heart of Christmas which is love." -Ada V. Hendricks

 Until next post.

Nana's Graduation

Yesterday was Nana's graduation day. Along with the other 6,600 graduands, she celebrated the graduation held at Etihad Stadium. I was there as a Stage Marshal, being part of the ceremony staff and therefore I was able to celebrate the moment with her. Her parents couldn't make it to the ceremony but her godfather was there for her, too.

Having be able to complete her study of Master of Engineering in Telecommunication and Network Engineering (whatever it is), must be such an accomplishment for her. She's admitted the degree with distinction and that somehow makes me so proud of her. I really am happy for her. Although, at the same time I'm a little sad because starting next semester I wouldn't have my study buddy. We used to stay at the postgraduate lounge until late at night to study; me doing whatever it was that is related to accounting and her doing journals or assignment reports. There were days and even weekends we spent at the lounge to study. But granted, I still am happy and excited for her.

It was my first time attending a graduation ceremony. The ceremony was grandiose. Held at the biggest stadium in Australia, along with around 25,000 attendants that evening, I witnessed the unforgettable memory of all graduands and their families. It was such a colorful night, with red and white color lights dominated the ceremony (that's my university's colors). There was a moving main stage at the center of the field for PhD graduands, filled with bright lights. There were also 14 stages for Diploma, Bachelor and Master students, one for each discipline (I was stationed at Stage F) surrounding the main stage. The ceremony started with PhD graduands, Academics and the Chancellor entering the field, walking on a red carpet. Followed by speeches, recognitions -- where the graduands receive their testamurs -- and then an after party.

With all the glorious nuance, I couldn't help but feeling excited for them all. Although, I reckoned half of the graduands clearly have no idea of what they're going to do after graduate. But it was a night to celebrate after years of hardworking and suffering. I also bumped into some other friends and acquaintances who were graduating last night. After the ceremony, I was out of duty and fled to meet with Air and congratulate her. We took pictures and celebrated a bit. I was invited for a party with some other friends afterwards but I was exhausted and decided to go home.

I now know what to expect when my own graduation comes next year. There was a little thought of how amazing it would be if I could be one of the Honorable Doctorate graduands. I imagine how proud Mum would be of me, seeing her only daughter getting honored. I'd definitely dedicate my speech for her. Well, it's not totally impossible but it might takes a very, very long time. Master program itself is a really bumpy road already. I just can't wait to graduate. Yet, until then, I still have another year to go. Another semester to battle on.

Until next post.

A Girl That I Met

After giving it a thought for several days and yet I still couldn't come up with any idea of costume, I might as well play the no-show card. Which means I'm not going to the housewarming party. Hence, I have to face the Judgement Day, explaining why I ditch the party. My excuse would be because I have another work to do. Well, that's the truth. Partially. Another excuse would be because I hate costume party. But of course I can't tell the manager that, can I?

Like I said, I suck at this. I'd rather stay at home, snuggling on my bed and catching up on Orphan Black. Or reading a book would be preferable. Too bad I have to work, though. But even work seems more enjoyable than that party.

You might get the impression of how nerdy I am. Or introverted. Truth is that's just who I am. It's not that I'm completely an outcast. I do enjoy socialize sometimes. But I'd prefer small group to socialize with. I feel more comfortable being in a small group. Suffice to say that I don't have many friends but I do have a handful of group of people that I call 'close friends'.

I remember Dad used to call me an anti-social. He often said it at my face that somehow, at some point, I believed it. But now I realised that he was wrong, that it's all a matter of choice. I have freedom to choose when I want to go out and hang out with my friends or when I want to stay at home and being alone. Like many months ago I used to go party at clubs or going out having drinks with friends every weekend. I even went to some social events held by a social group from MeetUp, attending gay parties and meeting new people. And from there I got to know a handful of people who I stay in touch with.

Admittedly, I did enjoy the partying, clubbing, drinking, raving, and socialising. But it's not something that I want to do at regular basis. Yet it's the thing that I need to do only for once in a while. That way I can actually feel the excitement. Otherwise, I'd get easily bored. No, I'd get tired of it. Not to mention it's weighed financially. Drinks are really, really expensive here. Even if I'm lightweight, I still could spend at minimum 30 bucks just for a couple of drinks. Also, not to mention that I'm not as young as I was 3 or 4 years ago. Getting closer to the end of 20's, I need at least three days to recover after partying all night.

During that time, where I used to be out a lot, I met a girl at one of the social events. I actually met her the first time at a club, and she happened to be a member of the group I recently joined in. She's 2 or 3 years younger than me, all energetic, a dancer with killer moves, a reader and writer (though I've never read any of her writings and would love to read one), and she's also interested in self-development. She knows a lot of things, always acts freely and even enjoys to do things that she loves by herself. We've met up a couple of times outside the group. One time she took me to this western karaoke bar at China Town. The place was well hidden and I assumed not many people know about it. I was amazed that she knows of such place and that she told me she used to go to that place by herself just so she can sing. FYI, western karaoke style is where you sing on a stage in front of other people. I would never have the guts to do that.

She seems a nice girl and really could be a good friend. I much appreciated her effort to talk to me and to want to know me. I know that she's such a good and caring person from her intention to introduce me to her 'business friends' although she barely knows much yet about me (but then something got in the way and I couldn't make it). Like I said, we've just met. Much to my appreciation, I'd like to befriend her. It'd be lovely to know more about her, too.

But that has to wait. 

After the many months of being out a lot, I feel the need to be alone for a little while. I know that this has been at least three weeks since the last time we talked and I haven't made any effort to show her my intention of befriending her. But I need a little more time while I'm trying to get better. Mentally. The last thing I want is for her to see how effed up I've been for the past couple of months. I'm working this out, real slow, I know. But I'm getting there.

I've been keeping a mental note to text her to ask her for a catch up over a cup of coffee or a meal. I sticked the note on my brain, so my mind can always read it. It's hanging on the back of my mind now.  And I will, one day, get back to her when I'm ready. Hopefully, by the time, she won't resent me.

Ah, it feels so good to let this out of my chest. And head.

Until next post.

A Costume Idea

I AM IN DIRE NEED OF HELP!

This is very, very urgent. Within less than two weeks I have to find a costume to wear. Here is why; my dearly manager at work is throwing out a housewarming party and guess what, it's a bloody costume party where everyone has to wear a bloody costume. Oh, never mind if I say she's a dear. She really isn't. As a matter of fact, she's a pain in the neck. Not always but most of the time. Really.

Let me get this right and tell you briefly about the manager as kindly as I can. She's the kind of person with dark days in the past, all toughen up with a daring personality - if not reckless, affection-less, short-tempered, troubled, and thinks that everyone else is some lucky bastard for having better education or better career or even better life than her. If you're one of the lucky bastards, well, don't dream of being in her inner circle friends. That, however, shouldn't be much of a problem if she can manage herself to be well-behaved at work. Most of the time she couldn't and that's when work becomes hell.

It's not all bad about her, though. For one, she's a caring person. Although, it'd be nicer of her if she's more ears to listen to us and not just telling us off and wanted to be heard. Because affection would be too much for her, even just for a teeny tiny bit. And... what else? I'm running out of good words to tell you about her good deeds. Sad but true.

Oh! Actually, for one time she took me to her apartment that she's sharing with another workmate and let me sleep in her bed, on her side of the bed. No, no. It's not like what you think it is. The story behind it is it was when we all went to a get-together party (and yes, it was, too, a themed party and we have to wear anything floral) and I got way too drunk. I crashed out and that's it. End of the story.

Indeed, that is one good deed of her and one big owe for me.

Snap, snap! Back to the costume. Here is another thing about her: she always gets her way. Like, for one, the bloody costume party and making everyone wearing costumes. I cringe every time I hear her say "I'm going to throw a party", because then it would always be a bloody themed party. Just like this housewarming party. So, I repeat, I AM IN DIRE NEED OF HELP FOR IDEA OF WHAT COSTUME SHOULD I PICK.

I really suck at this, you know. The only thing that comes up in my head is a onesie. You know, like the bunny onesie costume? Well, knowing the risk of humiliating myself wearing the costume in public transport to the party, I might as well just die. And I don't want to die just yet, not because of a stupid onesie costume, hence no onesie, what so ever. And no slutty police or nurse costume, either. I put the sexy/slutty police costume picture up there just because... well, just because. I don't know why I put it there, either.

Here I am left with no choice, no idea, no party. The no-show card is going to be played. And surely I'd have to face her, questioning me the big WHY, in her meany and demanding voice, if I flipped up the no-show card. It's going to be like facing the Judgement Day in front of God.

Unless, you could help me with an idea of a costume... of course it'd be really, really appreciated. If not, then please provide me with an excuse for not showing up at the party. It, too, would be greatly appreciated, although it wouldn't lessen my fear for the Judgement Day.

Until next post (and hopefully I'd come up with any idea).

A Fancy Catch-up

For the past few weeks I've done a really good job in isolating myself. You know, I've even found a new hobby which is spending at least an hour every day browsing for books on Goodreads and searching them on the library online catalog. That, and visiting the library to pick up the books. Soon I've created an endless list of books-to-read and innumerably awaiting collection on my library account reservation. The books keep piling up in my room and I've been reading them like I'm being possessed. (Who can resist fiction fantasy, really? And urban fantasy? My goodness, it's my soft spot!) Suffice to say that if I'm actually trying to isolate myself, then I'm doing it in utter excellency.

The thing is I think that the term 'isolating' isn't quite relevant to the fact that I ain't feel isolated at all. As a matter of fact, I'm enjoying it. I enjoy my spending time alone burying my face behind a book or when I go out for a run or even just exercising at home. Yes, I've been politely declining catch-up invitations from friends or postponing on giving them a call to make catch-up plans. But it's not really my intention to avoid them. Somehow I just feel I'm not ready yet to go out and socialising.

Yet, considering my current state of condition, maintaining a good relation with close friends is also important for my wellbeing. That at some point I have to be out there and spending some time socialising. So, I eventually went out and met Nana and Tab on a catch-up dinner. To be honest, though, them two are the only close friends that I have here; friends who know about me more than other people that I've met, befriended or acquainted. Which I'm glad that they're my friends.

So, on Thursday we met at this restaurant called Fancy Hank's at Queen Street. It's inside the Mercat Cross Hotel across Victoria Market. It's a fancy restaurant with an open-rooftop decor and country nuanced with its wooden floor and tables, and very capacious. I really like it there.

And the food is really nice, come with a generous portion and the with affordable price for students. They make a very delicious chips, I swear. Come over in the happy hour, which is from 4-6 pm, and you get 2 drinks for 1. Their kitchen opens from 6 pm, by the way. We ordered mac and cheese and the food that is called Hush Puppies (which turned out to be corn cookies) for starter, then we had chicken brisket with coleslaw salad after. And yup, you eat it straight from the tray. Cool, hey? (Sorry, the chicken brisket was long gone before I remember to take a photo of it.)

We stayed there, talking, until the sun set and it was really beautiful. Oh, and that's Nana's fingers. And that's the Queen Victoria Market. Did you know that the market was built on cemetery? Yes, it's the local urban legend. A hundred-and-thirty years ago the site was a cemetery, which housed the remains of approximately 10,000 early settlers. Shall worry not, the site around the market isn't that creepy at all. On Wednesday nights they have this Night Market held during summer where you can find a lot of food stalls selling innumerable kinds of food. The creepiness is totally overrun by the hunger people.

 

It was starting to get windy and cool after the sun set and I was only wearing shorts and tank-top, so we decided to head home. I should have known better. I mean, it's Melbourne and the weather changes like a girl changing her clothes. Should never leave home without bringing a jacket. And water. 

One thing that I realised after I got home is this whole catch-up thing isn't just about me being out there to socialise but also it's about me being there for my friends, although I might not be any help of their problems. I realised that it's good to know about what they're up to or about their future plans since one of them is graduating this month. Really glad that I met them that day after a while.

Until next post.