My Studies So Far

Semester 3 has been going for two weeks now and I've got plenty of summary to do, and mounted of practice questions to solve. It's going to be tough this semester as I'm doing Taxation Law, Financial Management, Financial Accounting Report (which includes corporate consolidated financial report, and is pretty much a complicated subject), and Business Statistics.

I'm worried much about this semester that at some point I can't function. Seems like my brain just goes numb and blank and I don't even get a single thing out of the materials. Or perhaps because I'm just too tired sometimes. Clearly this semester requires more effort for study and I can see myself staying up all night at uni studying in the next coming week. 

By now I've got use to the Australian education system and assessment marking. It's slightly similar to when I was doing my bachelor degree in Indonesia. Up for now I passed all the subjects, only this time I want to get higher grade, especially in the core accounting subject. This won't be easy and requires double the effort and time of study, but I'm gonna try. I have to. 

There are some thing that I have to sacrifice in order to achieve this. I have to give up some volunteer activity that I've been doing since last year, which is mentoring for international students in foundation studies at my uni. I won't, by now, have time to organize activities for the international students and actually go to every activity. It takes quite of time and full commitment to be a mentor and I just can't do it. Not this semester. 

Another thing that I have to give up is my workload. I will still do two jobs but I'm working less shift now. Just enough to pay my daily living cost and have a little bit savings for next semester's tuition. I know I still can work as much as I want during summer break. Also, I'm giving up several of my weekends. Distraction is the least I need right now, hence I'll be studying instead of going out. That should be easy remembering I earn little less money now so I won't have spare money to spend on weekends. 

I really hope that this all will be worth in the end. Competition is getting higher and higher, and getting enough point just to pass a subject isn't good enough. Because I have to stand out in the crowd if I really want to get into the workforce and eventually settle down. I have to keep reminding myself that this is for the better future.

And for Mum. Definitely for her.

Friends with Benefits

It's 4:07 in the morning as I'm typing this and Melbourne is at its coldest weather. I was awoken by the sound of tram passing by. This is the downside of living in a suburb closer to the City and the house is right next to the main road. Usually, I can just go back to sleep straight away as I've got used to the sound of endless traffic, but not this time. I reached my phone and randomly checked on the social media timelines, until I decided to blog about something.

Miss Bouncy is sleeping next to me. She's come here to pick up a textbook that I've borrowed for her from my university library. This is the first time we meet after she flew to Sydney for two weeks during uni break. Plus new semester has started and we both have been pretty tight up with study already. But she managed to cook some pasta with prawn and brought me some. We chatted about her holidays while I ate and I listened to her venting out about her clinical placement at some hospital.

Her bare back is now facing me but I still can hear her breathing softly. A sign, that I've learned, of her falling into a deep sleep. Some night she'd text me, saying she can't sleep. It could be her anxiety problem sometimes. Hence, seeing that she's sound asleep now gives me a slight peace of mind. We have to wake up in a couple of hours as she got a shift at the hospital in the morning and I have to go to work, then attend a lecture class.

This is probably the kind of thing that will raise the question. Knowing that I've been hooking up with Miss Bouncy, Queenie asked me about us. "Are you two a thing now?", was her question. I said no. We're more like "just hook ups" and "no string attached". But as Queenie said, you don't hang out with people you're hooking up with and you seem to hang out a lot with her lately. Well, now I'm thinking about what Queenie said, she's right. I do hang out with Miss Bouncy a lot, especially last semester. She would come over three or four days a week or whenever I was home, because I used to spend some night at uni to study and came home the next morning. I still do stay the night at uni this semester, but not as often as before. Yet. 

She has also left some of her stuff at my place. A pair of PJ's, hairbrush, toothbrush, contacts container, and even her phone charger. By now we have "my side" and "her side" on my bed. I sleep on the left side and she sleeps on the right side. Most of the time she'd walk me out to the tram stop and wait with me, before catching her tram home at the opposite direction and we'd kiss on the lips as we're parting. I know that it's every little thing that screams out "you two are a thing!" 

But we're not.

We're more than friends, less than lovers. Queenie came up with the term of "friends with benefits". I agreed and am pretty much okay with that. And so does Miss Bouncy. And I'd wish it stays that way. Nothing more and nothing less. Just two friends having a little bit more of fun and enjoying the ride.

Miss Bouncy

I called her Miss Bouncy for a reason. She just can't stop bouncing. She bounces anytime, anywhere, with or without music, even when she's venting about something or someone. Bopping her head, bouncing up and down. That's just really her personality and she always has the energy to do that. She loves house/dance music, remix, and all the kind of music. If you go through her music playlist, you'd find Calvin Harris, Zedd, Hardwell, Avicii, David Guetta, and many more stored on her phone. And, yes, she goes clubbing sometimes.

I met her the first time at a gathering held by a group of Asian lesbians/bi's in Melbourne on last December. It was the first gathering for both of us that we actually went to. We introduced ourselves and I remembered she mentioned that she's a nursing student at another university. She also mentioned that she's bi and three years younger than me, and from Sydney. By the end of the gathering, we ended up going home together as we were heading to the same line. That was the last time I saw her, or so I thought.

A few months later, around early April, she added me on Facebook. We talked a bit through the chat and a couple weeks later she asked if I wanted to go grab a dinner. I said yes. We exchanged numbers and on the night we agreed to meet, we went to have a dinner at a restaurant in my suburb then went for a cup of coffee. That was the first that led to the second dinner, this time I was the one asking. We keep in touch and exchanging text messages a few times a week, until I invited her over to my place (by that time I had moved to the place I am living in now), because she bought a bottle of Baileys and wanted to share it with me.

And that was when it all happened.

Being a light drinker we are (I'm still way lighter than her), I was a bit drunk and she was tipsy. I don't remember who started it or how did it even happen. Vaguely I remember asking her what time she was going home and she asked me back, what time did I want her to go home. So I told her to stay over because it was getting late and she'd probably missed the bus. Then everything was blurred after that. All I know is I ended up sleeping with her.

Supposedly, it was a one-night-stand thing. Apparently it's not. She came over the next few days and we had sex again. I'm surprised myself that it's still happening until now. Yet, we are not thing and we both seem okay with it.

Funny is that this has been happening for about three months now and we get to know each other more through the days we meet. She told me about how she used to be bullied in school because everyone knows she's bi, she told me about her parents divorce and that she's got a step brother. She told me how she was depressed and wanted to kill herself, yet here she is. Strong and bouncy. Also I figured out that she has huge patience. She rarely gets mad over anything, unless it happens continuously.

How long will this last, I have no idea. We both are singles and do seem to enjoy whatever it is that we're doing. It's not a relationship, less drama. We still exchange text messages almost everyday when we don't get to meet, but that's all. One more thing, though, is that I've never expected that this would happen. Let alone that I'd ever get laid. Hehehe... But anyway, we'll just enjoy it while it lasts, aye?

One Year

Hari ini, tepat setahun yang lalu, pesawat yang kutumpangi membawaku tiba di Melbourne. Masih teringat jelas hari itu aku disambut dinginnya udara musim dingin. Tubuhku yang masih belum terbiasa tentu saja mengalami guncangan hebat yang membuatku gemetaran lokal.

Masih jelas teringat segalanya terasa asing bagiku. Tidak ada satu orang pun yang kukenal atau yang mengenalku. Well, aku memiliki seorang teman baik yang sudah lama tinggal di sini namun hari itu dia tidak bisa menjemputku. Masih juga kuingat jelas perasaanku saat itu, ketika segalanya asing bagiku. Ada rasa takut, cemas, namun juga excited karena ini kali pertama aku merantau hingga jauh ke negeri asing. Sendirian pula dan hanya mengandalkan kemampuan Bahasa Inggris. Semuanya campur aduk, nano-nano.

Harus kuakui pada minggu-minggu pertama, hingga beberapa bulan kemudian, aku merasa kesepian (dan kedingnan!) Ditambah lagi dengan desakan bahwa aku harus segera memperoleh pekerjaan sampingan demi mencukupi biaya hidupku sehari-hari di sini. Aku tidak mau menyusahkan Mama yang harus membayar biaya kuliahku yang cukup mahal. Maka satu-satunya cara adalah aku tidak lagi meminta uang bulanan dari Mama. Dan dua bulan kemudian aku mendapat pekerjaan paruh waktu.

Lalu bagaimana mungkin aku bisa membayar semua biaya kebutuhanku sendiri hanya dengan bekerja paruh waktu? Oh well, hingga saat ini aku bekerja tetap paruh waktu di dua tempat sekaligus, dan sesekali bekerja based on call. Aku bekerja kurang lebih 60 jam per dua minggu dan kuliah full-time. Bukankah itu melanggar aturan dan bisa-bisa dideprotasi kalau ketahuan? Iya, bisa saja. Tapi percayalah, bekerja seperti orang kesetanan itu sudah menjadi tipikal mahasiswa internasional di sini. Jangan ditanya bagaimana aku mengatur waktu antara belajar dan bekerja. Pernah sampai berhari-hari aku menginap di kampus, hanya tidur kurang lebih tiga jam, demi menyelesaikan tugas atau belajar untuk ujian.

Jangan ditanya juga bagaimana kehidupan sosialku. Waktuku habis terpakai untuk belajar dan bekerja. Hanya belakangan ini saja baru aku mulai sesekali menikmati waktu luang dengan makan bareng teman atau sekedar ngopi-ngopi cantik di kafe. Sesekali memberi reward buat diri sendiri dengan belanja. Itu sih tetap ya, harus.

Sekarang segalanya tidak lagi asing. Ada banyak hal yang terjadi selama beberapa bulan terakhir ini. Salah satunya adalah aku telah menyelesaikan semester keduaku dan sekarang sedang libur kuliah. Kurang lebih tiga bulan yang lalu aku pindah ke tempat tinggal yang baru dengan alasan tempat tinggalku yang pertama terlalu jauh dari City. Banyak hal yang sudah kualami, yang kapan-kapan akan kuceritakan.

Satu tahun telah berlalu dan perjalananku masih panjang. Ada waktu-waktu di mana aku merasa bosan dengan rutinitas yang sama. Ada waktu-waktu di mana aku merasa lelah dan ingin menyerah. Tapi mengingat kembali alasanku hingga membuatku memutuskan untuk merantau hingga jauh sampai ke sini yang membuatku tetap bangkit lagi. Karena perlahan aku mulai membuat tempat ini, negeri ini, sebagai rumah baruku...