What is Yoga For Me

I found a new hobby. It's yoga. My very first introduction with yoga was in May, and ever since I have begun to practice yoga daily. Well, I always try to practice daily but on some very, very cold days during winter it was nearly impossible to get up and get on the mat. Thank goodness winter is almost over and Spring is just around the corner!

Now, three months into yoga, it has become more than just a hobby. When I first started, it was just an exercise as it helps toning my muscles and keeps my body in shape and healthy. However, gradually it is becoming a lifestyle. Spiritually speaking, yoga teaches me balance, flexibility, strength appreciation, acceptance, letting go and surrender. Often times, during the practice, I would wander why I couldn't be that flexible like the other yogis. Then I would push myself harder and deeper into the pose until I realise that I just can't, yet. So I learn to appreciate my body and listen to what it says. But more importantly, yoga teaches me how to be me and I am forever grateful to be introduced to it.

What I love the most about yoga is the various experience it has given me. One day, I came to a class of one of my favorite yoga teachers. She's a good teacher and I love the way she teaches and the music she plays during her class. Towards the end of the class, after a very intense and much faster flow we get to hold poses slightly longer and the flow had become slower, I was so caught up with my own practice, with her thoughtful words and the beautiful music, my tears just rolled down my face.

On another days, my practice took me to the feeling of agitation, anger and upset I just couldn't help but wish that the class would end soon. But through all that, I learn to accept whatever feelings that occur during the practice and move on. I have cried, laughed, fallen down on the mat, but never farted, yet, I have felt like I want to punch the instructor for making me twist, going up and down for so many times, and that's just the beauty of my practice.

Three months into practicing yoga is not a long time, I am not sure if I could call myself a yogi! Well, maybe I could call myself a newbie yogi. I still have a very long way to go and many things to learn. As of now, I am still trying to understand the "oneness" in yoga. That is, I realise, is a lifetime learning process. It is a process of going from a human being doing yoga to a human being yoga. Until then, it is all about getting my bum on the mat every day.

Until next post.

The Little Pilgrimage

How's everyone doing? I hope life is treating you all well. Even if you feel like life is being a bitch, well, do still enjoy it not any less than you should.

I have just been back in Melbourne after spending 4 weeks in Indonesia, visiting my family. Three years not going back was indeed quite a long time. The house where I grew out seemed older than what I remembered and the town seemed smaller. The people, however, seemed to stay the same. Or in my case, I have changed so much since I left the town.

Travelling back home, as I have mentioned before, was indeed a little pilgrimage I needed. Revisiting the town, the people, the family and the life I have left behind made me realise that I am so much in a better state of mind, and mental. I can tell it from the way I handled my feelings when I saw everything that had happened in the past all over again and it didn't bother me as it used to. The pain and the hurt feelings that were once rooted so deep inside me, have slowly dissipated. Yes, at this time, I think it is a pity of what had happened to my parents and my family. But it's no longer leaving a trail of bitter feelings that making me blame the situation.

As my intention of the trip was to let go of my past, indeed I have come to let go of many things of my past and it include the people who I had once a relationship with; relatives and friends. I reckon it was not meant to happen at that time because my intention was to let go of my past after all. I have also learned to detach myself from it and accept it as part of me, as I realised it now that I can never change the past and I should not live in it any longer. It's always there and it stays where it should be.

There is a quote that fits perfectly with my experience. It says, "...we don't transcend our lives; we return to the life we left behind in the hopes of something better." I did find something better from my trip home; I found myself.

Now, I have returned to my life in Melbourne and continue doing what I have been doing. Only this time around, I am heading for a new beginning. It starts from me looking for a new place and looking for jobs, still. I have applied for an apartment and hopefully I get it. Fingers crossed that I could also get the job I applied for. This time, I got a referral from the inside, which is an employee of the company. We'll see how it turns out. In the meantime, I'm just waiting and keep doing what I can for now. I have set my intentions out, said it out loud and prayed for it. Now I'm just letting it all works out, letting the universe works its way.

Until next post.