When I Can't Sleep

I need to rant. Or rambling. Or monologue-ing (wait, is that even a word?). Or whatever. I need the sleep, so I need this and I'm going to do it. Rather than talking out loud to myself inside my room, it's probably would seem more sane to just pour it up on here. I mean, what's the use of online blog, anyway? Right? Okay. So, this post might be just like any other post about messy, crumbled thought that I have. Don't tell me I didn't warn you.

Okay, then. You chose to stay and keep reading (thank you, by the way). Oh, and before we move on, here's another warning: whatever side-effects you're having after reading this, I am not responsible to that. It's all on you. Still staying? Good. So, how about I start on talking about life being funny, as always? Or, maybe, that life plays a fool out of you? Like, seriously, you realize it, right? Well, I certainly do realize it. Yes, life is, indeed, playing a fool out of me right now. I have my reason, of course. I am never accusing something or someone without a reason, logically or not.

Remember that people say that when you're least expecting something, it comes? Yes, that's what happened to me. Just as when I believed I was facing a dead-end, suddenly, BAM!, here comes the way to break the wall so I can move forward. Just like the light at the end of the tunnel. I mean, after awhile of being hopeless and less expecting that something would come in to my way, this is kind of frustrating and tiring. Hey, I'm human, okay? It doesn't mean that I'm complaining or something. Believe me, I have found way to be graceful everyday to keep being alive and nothing like cutting-wrist would happen. (Please, take a note: I am NOT suicidal).

Now that the wall is broken, I am given chances to make things happen. All I have to do is only choose what I want. Really, it should be an easy thing to do, right? But becoming me, no, it's not. Guess this all has to do with me being in my comfort zone for too long that I don't dare taking choices. I was once told that life is about making choices and not destiny. Wherever or whatever you are now is the result of what you chose before. Oh, if only it's as easy as answering multiple-choices question. That is why sometimes having no options is way better than having to make a choice, or so I think.

But then again, I have to choose and, amazingly, I did. I just wish that this will start making things happen. And with that, I am now going to try to get some sleep. And, oh, it's Friday already. The Good Friday. So, behave and be good.

Goodnight and rest well. (Yes, I'm saying that for myself).