The Last Semester

Uni has started since two weeks ago. This is my last semester, by the way. Wow. Isn't it? I'm feeling quite anxious about it, but I might as well just enjoy my last couple of months studying. Therefore, I'm getting sucked in with uni works already.

The courses I'm taking this last semester are quite interesting, not to mention quite a heavy load for me. I've got a mountain of required and additional readings in my desk because all the three courses are theoretical subjects. Who would have thought that there are numerous theories behind accounting, which is called Contemporary Accounting Thought and Ethics? Even there's a taste of science in it. Social science it is. Well, I didn't think it that way.

I chose social study in high school and majored in Management for my undergraduate study. I did many accounting subjects before but none of it was theoretical based, nor was I told why accounting is included in social science. I'd rather sit and crunching numbers than memorising definitions and such. Although I may not be good in solving Math problems (God knows I hate it), but I'm good with doing numbers that are currencies. (I guess it's running in my blood, that talent.)

Anyhow, now that I'm actually majoring in accounting, I get the chance to learn the theories that formed the term. 

Apart from learning Contemporary Accounting Thought, I also get to learn about Auditing and Forensics Accounting. This is another new thing for me. I've always wanted to learn it and am aiming the path to become an auditor. People always cringe whenever I say that. Auditors work long hours and that it seems merciless. I know that because I've seen how my friends, who are auditors, work. I guess it'll suit me well. 

But. As I'm learning it at the moment, it's apparently quite overwhelming. I mean, all the terms and rulings and regulations and many more are very, very new to me. It's like studying Tax Law but without the numbers. Now I'm considering being a tax accountant instead. Well, I can just decide later what I really want to do. It's lucky enough if I can land a full time job right after graduate. 

Another course I'm doing is what-so-called "Accounting for Sustainable Management". In this course, I am given a new thinking about business and the role of accounting in the context of sustainability. It touches the social, environmental and financial. Or it is originally known as the "Triple Bottom Line". The other terms are: People, Planet, Profit. 

In simplicity, this course pushes me to critically think of how can business make profit while at the same time being sustainable. And the role of accounting here is to measure the sustainability. For example, the role of accounting in this context is to measure how much the social cost resulted from gambling business in numbers or currency. That is indeed a complex subject, but I'll get the hang of it. I have to.

I would like to talk more about sustainability in personal perspective, but it will be in separate post. Otherwise I might bore you to death with this lengthy post. Let's see if I can make it within this week. But sooner or later, I might have to write it out before the idea gets lost in the jumble of my thoughts.

Until next post. 

Maybe it wasn't the right time...

Remember about the girl that I talked about a few months ago? The one that I was supposed to contact since, well . . . last December? I never contacted her.

Until today.

I didn't realise that it had been this long hadn't I bumped into her coincidently. We didn't have the chance to have a little chat because I was rushing to work. But I did message her afterward, apologising for not staying to say hi.

She replied saying that it's all good and that we should catch up soon. She also mentioned that now she's in a relationship, she doesn't go out much partying, except for Soul Sisters and some other events that are more like social event.

To be honest, part of me is feeling disappointed for whatever reason that I don't understand, but another part is feeling relieved. And yes, I am talking about the "in a relationship" part of her message.

I guess, I'm feeling disappointed because only now I realised that she really meant it when she told me she wanted to get to know me better. Come to think of it, she really did try to spend time with me to find out more about me. I don't know about her intention, and would never know. But it does seem like she was giving me a green light and I was too oblivious of it.

Although it was never my intention to want to be romantically involved with her, it stung me to find out that she is someone else's now. Why do I feel like I blew off my chances, is something that confuses me. Now it feels like there are boundaries between us. One being we cannot meet outside social events like we used to. She's now the sorry-I-can't-reply-your-message-after-10 pm type of "in a relationship".

Of course, I could blame it on my study and work loads that prevented me to have more free time to go out with her every time she asked. But I would be in denial if I say so. Because I know, deep down, I wasn't ready then, to get too attached to someone. (I am not ready now, too). The fact that I didn't have the courage to contact her and I so easily let it slip through my fingers without enough try to grasp it say so much.

I'm happy for her nevertheless and I think she deserves to be happy, knowing that she's such a nice person.

As much as feeling disappointed, I'm also feeling relieved because now I don't have to hang on to whatever feeling I have. Maybe this just wasn't in the right time.

Do I regret this? Maybe yes. Maybe not. But it's not enough to make go all emo and masochist. Most likely I am fine and sooner than later I will have to fold this thought into the vault in my head.

But I did learn something from this; that when the time comes, I don't screw up by blowing it off.

When I am willing to take a big sacrifice, then I would know that that is the person, that it is the time. And I can wait patiently until it comes because I'm no in a rush anyway.

Until next post.

The Things About Living Abroad

A few days ago, I read an interesting article about the depressing side effects of living abroad published by Elite Daily. The author pointed out 5 depressing side effects of living abroad, which at some point I agreed with and another I did not.

Here are my point of views regarding the side effects:

1. Your loved ones will be devastated.

Me moving out the house and now living abroad wasn't something new for my family. When I was 11 years old, my parents sent me away to live in a dorm and since then I have been living away from them for as long as I could remember. By the age of 18, I moved interstate and stayed there for 6 years. And now I'm here, in another side of the world.
 
During the past 17 years I've been living on my own and only came home every once a year. After 17 years, I spent almost 2 years at home with my family and I couldn't take it anymore. I always longed to get away on my own. Of course, I didn't blame my parents for sending me out at such a young age.

When I told Mum I wanted to move to Australia, she was shocked. She didn't see it coming and thought that I would settle down. But after several life-changing things that happened, I knew that I couldn't stay there and need to move out again.

Of course, it wasn't easy for me to leave home again, and leave Mum. Maybe she was devastated to see me leaving, too. Maybe. Because we have never spoken it out openly. Mum and I, we are not the touchy-feel kind of persons. But I knew form the look of her face when sending me out at the airport that she was devastated.

Times went by and she seemed to have accepted my decision to stay where I am right now. She even once said to me, "If this is what you really want, then make it happen." And I will.

2. You'll feel guilty all the time.

So, here I am, living the life that I want. But I suppose that there are always sacrifices I have to make to get what I want. And one of it is the guilty feeling.

She's getting older each day and I should have stayed in her side because I'm the only daughter, and the eldest. I'm supposed to take care of her, yet I chose to leave her in the pursuit of my own better living. This guilty feeling, it pains me sometimes.

Another sacrifice is to watch my nephew growing up through my phone screen. I wasn't there when he was born and I've never hold him, not even once. I watch him through my phone screen from when he was a newborn until now, turning into an active two-year-old kid. But now he knows my face and can say my name, which I'm quite happy about.

Sometimes, I wonder when will I finally get to see him . . .

3. You'll feel really, really lonely.

I can't deny this. It gets utterly, awfully lonely sometimes. Especially at this time around the year. The Stark's saying, winter is coming, which means things will about to get rougher and tougher (and colder, literally). Well, it applies to this loneliness I'm talking about.

I have spent two Christmases, two New Years, two Chinese New Years all by myself, and only Skyped my family back at home.

I do have friends and good friends here. But I also realise that sometimes I have no one to talk to. And I mean talk "talk". When I feel it this way, it feels like the worst loneliness ever.

However, after so long I got used to it. The loneliness. The no one-to-talk-to feeling. I have embraced it and ofttimes I would shut myself out from the world and just be in solitary.

4. You won't fit in anymore.

This is definitely true. I know I have changed so much over the past two years, living abroad on my own. I have somehow adapted to the new culture, new systems, and almost everything. I have had the change of attitude and also somehow the way I see life and how people should live.

I have learned new convictions and beliefs, and I've embraced them fully. I've discovered so many new things that I could ever imagine. I have also found out about my capabilities that I never knew I had. All these seem like a really good thing for me.

But somehow, this has alienated me from the people and place where I came from. (God knows how I can't live without Netflix and Spotify.) Most of the things that I used to feel right about, they just don't now.

Only one thing that hasn't changed, and it's because Mum is tirelessly reminding me: my faith.

5. You'll lose dear friends.

Well, I didn't quite agree with this point. I am now still in contact with some of my close friends back at home, though we don't speak as often as before. But I know that they are there somewhere.

Yes, I couldn't deny that I missed my close friend's wedding last year. But it doesn't mean we cut ourselves off from each other. Because I believe that a good friendship will always find its way to survive.

Until next post. 

Winter Adventure

This week is the last week of uni break for me. I haven't done much during break but working and catching up on series and, of course, sleeping during my days off. But today a couple of friends and I took a ride to Mount Dandenong. Our plan was to go for a walk in the forest and ascend the a thousand steps, you know, for a bit of work out. Unfortunate for us, the weather forbade to do so. It was raining and foggy and terribly cold up there. So, we ended up . . . eating. (So much for a work out, hey?)

Having wanted to try the famous Australian pie, we went to Pie In The Sky for lunch. The place has country themed design and it brought us to the countryside nuance once we were seated. The place is also quite easy to find and it only took us about 20-30 minutes drive from Carneige station. There is also public transport available running a service to that area.

Feeling a bit too hungry, we ordered pies for each one of us and a bowl of chips to share. I had the cheese minced beef pie served with peas, mashed potatoes and gravy. For a cheese lover, I loved it. And the crispiness of the pie was perfect.

Our next culinary destination was Miss Marple's Tea Room. It is located just a few minutes down the road. We headed there to try its remarkable scones and pudding. Yes, never miss a dessert.

They were having a "Christmas in July" theme and therefore the place was decorated with Christmas ornaments and Christmas song was played. They even have the fireplace lighted! For a minute it felt like it's the end of the year already. Only the true Christmas is in summer.

Anyway, if you are coming to Melbourne, you definitely ought to visit these two places and any place within the Dandenong Ranger area. I bet it would be better in summer, though.

Now, I have finally had the trip I wished for. Just when I thought it would never happen, a friend offered a ride. I guess the saying of "things happen just when you least expect it" is about right. Hopefully the next trip in summer will definitely happen, too. I haven't made a plan yet but we'll see.

Until next post.

May and June Updates

Hello, July.
And yes, it's winter here again.
And, I missed two months in updating this blog.
A promise has been broken.
Again.

Anyway, a little bit of update since my last post.

May. I celebrated my 28th birthday with Tab and Nana. We met up for a quick brunch at Hopetoun Tea Rooms. It's a fancy and well known restaurant in city, and it has been for over 100 years. That time we also celebrated Tab's wedding. I'm so happy for her and I wish her happiness always.

More on May, I eventually met up with a couple of girls/women through this one application called Wapa. It's something like Grindr for lesbians. Never imagined that I would use it but hey, why not? So I set up my profile and to my surprise I got a few messages quite often. Not bad, huh? Though I never intentionally check in every day and search and start a chat to someone. I guess I'm more like the 'waiting' type. I still keep in touch with some of them after the initial meetings, while the others, well, let's just say we didn't find any common interest and so we silently agreed to call it a quit. That, and I was fast absorbed with uni stuff and works.

June. More uni and more works. I struggled to complete 9 assignments in last semester but eventually I did complete all of them. I have to say that last semester was probably the best semester ever so far because I met with good, hard working people for most of my group works. It resulted in three High Distinction group reports out four, which I'm extremely happy about. Only one group in one course that was a pain in the ass. But I guess I can never have it all perfect, right? So I'm letting it go. I'm awaiting the official results and am hoping I did good enough on the individual assignment to pass the course.

Then there were final exams. I think I did well in most of the exams. But we'll see how the results will be.

Now. I'm on school break. Nothing much to do but work. I know I promised myself to go on a trip this break, but apparently I couldn't. There are several obligations I need to meet and some more important things to do. And it means only one word: WORK.

The trip can wait.

However, I managed to gift myself for my hard work during the semester. I guess it can be an early self-treat before the results come out. And that is, I bought a Kindle!!! Just the basic one, the one that is in my budget, the Kindle Touch (7th generation). Now I can catch up on readings again.

For the record, my initial purchase from the device was The Affair by Cori Kane. It's a lesbian story, by the way. I was at lost on what book should I read on the device and the title just came up on my mind because I recently saw it on my Facebook timeline. So I searched and purchased it for $3.99. It was an easy reading with a sweet and smutty but-not-too-steamy love making scene. But it was enough to warm me up a little. Hey, don't judge me. Melbourne's winter is grey and cold, and dull and lonely. I need something to warm me up beside having hot chocolate that will add another ounce to my scale, no?

Actually, my main intention was to catch up on Game of Thrones series. You know how thick the books are, don't you? So a Kindle will do.

Well, that's pretty much it for now. I'm going to bed with one pray in my head: hopefully I really do get good grades this semester, considering the self-treat I purchased.

Until next post.