Am I marriage material?

What do you think if a guy tells you that he is now actively looking for a girlfriend-to-be-wife at the very early stage of friendship you have with him? 

I met with some guy today for a dinner. Well, he's a friend I know from work actually. He was a new staff at my workplace and worked for only two weeks before he got terminated. For whatever reason, I didn't know until today. During the two weeks I have worked with him 3 or 4 times and we talked once during a break. We talked about work. 

A few days after he got terminated, he messaged me. (He asked my number while he was still working.) I asked him what happened and he asked to meet up. So today we eventually did meet after two cancelled plans because we're both equally busy. We talked a bit more about work, then he told me what happened with work. It's a long story so I'm not going to write it here. The point is he was no longer given any shift. Well, that's the reason behind the meeting. 

Then we talked a bit more. Well, it was more like he started asking me questions like why did I choose Australia, what was the reason behind me moving in here and then some follow up questions after I answered him. Didn't expect to be asked such questions, I gave him vague answers of course. At that time, I thought he was just trying to make a conversation. 

I don't remember exactly how did we get to talk about marriage and stuff. But I do remember he asked about my age. All of sudden he started talking about his plan on getting married at the age of 27 and is now starting to look for a potential candidate. He's two years younger than me, by the way. And to my astonishment, he also asked me when do I plan to get married and all. I told him honestly I haven't thought about getting married because I'm too busy with uni and work, that I'm not ready -- mostly financially. Well, that's slightly true . . . I mean, even if it's legal for gay marriage here I don't think I'm ready to marry a woman either. Dating is a thing but marriage is something. But anyway, of course I didn't tell him that. 

After I told him my view about marriage, he then said that I should start opening myself up for some guy. As I quote, "you can start looking while doing uni and work. It's a good thing to build life together from a scratch." I was at loss of word and all I could say at that time was I'll see. Absolutely didn't see it coming from him. 

Now that I'm recalling our conversation, I realised that all his questions seem to be purposely asked to get to know me more. Isn't it? Or is it just me? Was I unknowingly falling into his screening session? As I recall him saying if I start looking now and in a year I'm still only 29, so it's still alright. Mind you, he's turning 26 and planning to get married in 27. Sounds to me like he was telling me a scenario or something. Didn't he? 

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure he's not a creep. At least he doesn't look like one. In fact, he seems like a polite, nice guy -- a marriage material kind of guy. In terms of appearance, well, he's a few inches shorter than me. But other than that I think he's the kind of guy I would consider, if I'm into guys. 

Whatever it is, I should be more careful not to falsely lead him into something that I don't wish for. That if we keep in touch after today. Like I said, it was the first time we met and had proper conversation. I'm up for friendship of course. But I have to seriously consider keeping a safe distance. 

It is not that I'm too self-conscious, that I'm a hundred percent sure that he's considering me to be his future wife. Although, the idea of me fit his future wife criterion is utterly amusing. To know that I'm the kind of woman that a man would want to marry is entertaining, if not funny. Because I'm not into marriage -- to a man or woman, like ever. Not sure if it's going to change one day, though. One thing for sure is, I don't think I'm marriage material. 

Or maybe because I haven't met the right person to make me willingly let loose of my single-ship . . . .

Bleh. 

Anyway, it was just some interesting story and is probably meant nothing. Maybe it was just a sharing session between two friends. I have nothing to worry about. Right?

Until next post. 

My Saturdays

There are major rail works in many train lines, causing all the passengers to be tossed into connecting buses.

Shit. 

I'm on my way to city in Cranbourne line, completely stuck. I had to take a conneting bus from Oakleigh to Caulfield and now have to wait for 20 minutes for the train that will take me to Flinders Station. Pretty much stranded in Caulfield right now. 

Teenagers are on their way to party. People are dressed up. The night is young for them. Not for me. 

The weather is cold tonight and nothing that I want but a hot shower after long hours of work. Can't wait to wash off the day. Nothing that I want right now but my bed. 

From Flinders Station I still have to catch a tram to go home. It'll take me at least 2 hours to get home . . . .

This is how my Saturday is spent. 

This is why I don't date. 

Until next post. 

Falling Sick

I am totally wiped. Within two days my illness has stretched from sore throat to sore body, faint headache, blocked nose, and cold. I'm falling sick indeed.

Knowing that I don't have work or lecture in the morning, I slept in until 11. I woke up with puffy eyes and dizziness over my head, and I could barely stay awake the entire day. But I was able to drag myself out of bed, ate brunch (cereal with milk), and went to uni. Fortunate enough I was able to make my brain work and managed to finish the very first assignment of the semester that is due this weekend. I put together all the main points and gave it to my team mate. I let her deal with the finishing part. This indicates how sick I'm feeling because I don't usually let other people do the finishing part in group assignment, for the sake of perfection. I just never trust them. But this time, I can't be bothered. (Although, I'm quite sure I will still have a look before we submit it anyway.)

After lecture, which luckily finished 30 minutes earlier, I went home and cooked some congee with sliced ginger and spring onion. The house smelled of ginger while it's cooking. To know that I'm never a cook, it was an easy cooking. I made a bit too much of the congee so I put the rest in a container and into the fridge. I can have it tomorrow as breakfast.

This is one thing that I miss the most: having someone to cook for me, especially when I'm sick. Been living by myself for so long I learned to take care of my own self. I got used to it. But I do miss someone to take care of me. I long for it, to be honest. When I called Mum earlier, I told her I miss her cooking for me. Her reply was, that's why, if you choose to stay there (in Melbourne), you need to find someone to marry with so you won't be alone anymore. Oh wells . . . .

Speaking of someone, it's been too long I stay single. Don't you think it's about time I start looking? Hmmm . . . I'll think about it. 

I would like to write more tonight but I'm getting sleepy. So I'm closing this post. I'm going to bed and hopefully I'll feel better in the morning. Having to call in sick at work is the last thing I need when I need some extra money. I'm planning to have a trip somewhere (Great Ocean Road or Mornington) on Spring break, so yeah . . . We'll see.

Until next post.

When I feel like writing something. . .

Nothing can beat the pleasure of eating ice cream from the bucket! Try it and you'll believe me. Working double shifts for three days in a row last week, I knew I deserved a treat. So yesterday (Sunday) I went to Woolies and bought me a peanut butter and chocolate flavoured ice cream. I ate it last night and tonight. It's such a pleasure, you know, sitting on a couch in PJ and scooping down the ice cream. I know it's a big no no and it's going to worsen the sore throat I've been having for almost a week now. But I don't care. The weather is hot and probably today is the last day we get the warmth. Enjoy the ice cream now and deal with sore throat later. 

I didn't finish the whole bucket anyway. Too much, even for me. 

Tonight I was actually going to write about a particular topic that has been bothering me for quite a while. But I don't feel like writing something that requires a deep thought and I have to rack my brain out to make the words. Because I spent my whole day at uni today, from 8 a.m. until 6 p.m. I had three lectures and two group meetings. I have used my brain to its full capacity. So I'll leave the topic for next time. Besides, I predict that it would turn into a rant and I'm too tired for it anyway. 

I was also planning to call Mum but then decided not to. I don't think I can take up any depressing story about Dad. I know there's something happened at home. How do I know it? Well, I just do, sometimes without having to ask or having them telling me. I call it an instinct. Or more like a hunch. It's probably something that I got from living far away from my family. No doubt Mum would fill me in if I called and it would send me to space to hear the story. 

I do feel guilty for not wanting to know what happened or not wanting to listen to her when she probably needs me. But . . . I just can't take it. Not tonight. Not when I'm having a busy week ahead, and the last thing I want is me escaping to space and lose control. 

I sent her a text instead and she said she's alright. That should be enough to make me feel at ease until I'm ready to call her. Which won't take a long time anyway. I'll definitely call her tomorrow because I also know she was feeling unwell the other day; sore throat, cough and cold. I will check up on her. 

That's about it for tonight. I'm off to bed with Birdy singing. 

Until next post.

A Good Day

It feels so good to be able to eventually lie on bed after a long, wicked day. To feel the body relaxed and slowly drifting to sleep. With slow and soothe music playing, it brushes all the stress that tensing me all day today. You know, the usual things: work, study, group meeting and so on.

Let me tell you about my day. Today I had an argument with the manager at work. Well, it wasn't quite an argument. It was more like me standing up for myself against the manager. It's something that my old self would never do. I would never reason with people and just let them think and judge me as to what they see. But today was different. I spoke out. I stood up for myself when I was being "accused" for not being efficient and multitasking at work. I reasoned with the manager why, in that particular time during work, I wasn't being multitasking. While any other time, when she wasn't looking, I do multitask. At the end, she appologised and I accepted it. All cleared. No hard feelings. 

Oh. And today I did something else extraordinary. I can't tell you yet what it is. But I ensure you that it's such a big leap in my life. A big STEP. It's something that I never thought I could do. The thought of this could be a mistake still lingers in the back of my head. I feel like I've made a bad decision regarding this matter but it's already done and can never be undone. All I can do now is live with it. To look at the bright sight, I've made a progress; I stepped forward. This suppose to be a good thing. Right. 

Also today I had a group meeting to discuss the assignment I mentioned in the previous post; the one assignment that is due in Week 4, which is next week from now. Yip, I finally got a team mate. We figured out the case study and divided the tasks need to be done within an hour. Not bad. 

Then I went home, showered, studied a bit for an hour and half, and finished reading The Whispering Skull (Lockwood & Co. series by Jonathan Stroud). 

I am now enjoying the nighttime, brushing off all the thoughts from my head and dropping all the stress. This is my favourite time of the day. I really should do this more often and I will. 

Alright. I can feel the sleepiness creeping in and my eyes are shutting. (Thanks to Jeff Buckley for singing Hallelujah.)

I'm falling asleep . . . .

Until next post. 

Oh, Ps. Hope you have a good day/night, too. (I'm falling asleep to the Cranberries singing Linger now.)